...the end of book six.

So, the trek is finally over. 

I've been a Christian for a over 20 years and this was the first time I've read the entire journey of the Israelites from start to finish.  Starting before they were delivered from slavery in Egypt until the moment they stepped foot into the promised land. 

I began reading my bible because I was searching.  I wanted to understand more about God's love. 

I've heard it taught for years: 

"God IS love!"
"God loves us so much!
"God promises this, and God promises that."
"He'll deliver you!"

But I just wasn't feeling it.  Oh, I believed it.  But feel it?  Not so much.  

Most days I felt like a disappointment, falling short of what He called me to be.  "He loves me no matter what?"  

We live in a world of conditional love.  Our love is selfish, "what can they do for me?"  It's based on feelings, hormones and past experiences.  

Even though I've been taught (and have read scripture to confirm these truths) that His love is unconditional it's still sometimes hard to swallow.     

I believed it with my mind. 

But, being only familiar with worldly love, I just couldn't feel it with my heart.

It can be a difficult thing to align your heart with your mind.

So began my journey.  I started at the beginning, the Old Testemant.  I figured I'd have to drudge my way through --marching ahead with my eyes locked on the New Testament...bring on Jesus!!  Jesus IS love!!!    

But what God has taught me about Himself and His love through these first six books in my bible has knocked my socks off!!  (in the wise words of my great friend JD)

In watching Him respond to the Israelites, He's displayed a love that truly IS unconditional.

Finally!  I could relate to this love!  The Israelites, they were  JUST LIKE ME!  They've behaved, in so many ways, the way I do! 

They were selfish - I tend to think about what's best for me.
They doubted -  Yup, got TONS of doubts.
They rebelled - I don't like anyone telling me what to do!
They complained - I like things to go a certain my...my way.

I'm sure I could go one, but I've pretty much convinced myself that I got it covered.  I'm just like 'em. 

So...I waited for God to cast them away.  To turn His mighty back on them!  Forget about them.  Move on to "better people", people that will appreciate what He does for them. 

People that will be, do, serve, love, exactly the way He wants them to.  But is there such thing? 

We ALL fall short. 

When they complained, God gave them exactly what they wanted (remember the quail story? one of my favs) until they were sick of it!

Whey they doubted, God reminded them that it was HIS battle and encouraged them to have faith!

When they rebelled, He corrected them.   

When they were captive - HE delivered them through mighty miracles.

What an A-HA moment!  I feel so blessed to have found out the secret to why He loves us!  Finally!  The "reason" I've been searching for!

There is no reason.

It's really not as complicated as I try to make it.

I finally understand that He loves me because He has decided to. 

...and certainly not because of anything I do or do not do. 

He loves me because that's just who He is and no matter what I do, say, think, hear, or see - I can't escape His Love.

Nor do I want to.