Free will? Really?

Exodus Chapters 7-13

 

I've read these chapters many times.  We all know the story.  God releases plague after plague on Egypt until Pharaoh agrees to free the Israelites.

 

It's funny how you look at a story in a completely different way when you are journaling it.  I found myself underlining verses I've never even noticed before.  I began to questions God's plan.  I mean, He's God, right?  He could have struck Pharaoh dead.  Why did he chose to demonstrate His supremacy by sending disturbing plagues on all of Egypt?

 

Especially the last one!  The death of the firstborn in EVERY family.  

 

The thin that I found most difficult was understanding why He would "harden Pharaoh's heart" only to release more devastation on the people of Egypt.

 

To be completely honest, I felt as though it was a power trip.  

 

But as I continued reading I realized that God was using the opportunity for the people of Egypt to fully understand that HE is Lord.  I think at the same time, He was showing Israel that they could trust Him by protecting them from the plagues.

 

God said, (about the Egyptians)

 

"When I show them my power...they will realize that I am the Lord." - Exodus 14:18

 

"This will give me the chance to do even more miracles."

 - Exodus 11:9 (after Pharaoh refuses one again)

 

I understand now.  I know the plagues had to be awful and they had to get worse each time in order for the people, and Pharaoh to realize it was God behind them.  Many of the plagues were "copied" by the magicians.  I guess they believed if they could simulate the plagues, the would preserve their credibility and deny that God was "all powerful".  

 

The plagues showed that God wasn't just the God of the Hebrews but was supreme over the Egyptians' very lives.  The plagues were all about who had the power...

 

Clearly the Egyptians deities (and rulers) did not.

 

Like I already said, I do understand that now.  But what I don't understand is why God hardened Pharaoh's heart.  It's one thing to pick or used someone who is stubborn to complete God's will (or plan) but I have a hard time hearing the word say,

 

"God hardened Pharaoh's heart."  - Exodus 10:20 

 

Doesn't that remove free will?  Does he harden the hearts of my unbelieving friends and family? 

 

Alternatively, does he soften hearts? 

 

...and more importantly, will he soften the hearts of my unbelieving friends and family?